Worst beginner mistakes — am I overthinking this? [v5]

Mostly thinking out loud — feel free to push back hard. Mostly thinking out loud — feel free to push back hard.

I tried three different approaches and none of them felt quite right. Not sure if this is the right place to ask, mods please remove if it is not. Posting this here because the relevant subreddit has gotten too noisy lately.

Long-time lurker, first-time poster. Posting this here because the relevant subreddit has gotten too noisy lately. I tried three different approaches and none of them felt quite right.