Overrated community norms — am I overthinking this? [v4]

This came up at a meetup recently and the room was split, so curious what the broader community thinks.

Long-time lurker, first-time poster. Looking for honest feedback, not validation.

Not sure if this is the right place to ask, mods please remove if it is not. The trade-offs here are not obvious to me and I keep flip-flopping. There is a lot of conflicting advice online and most of it is from 2019.