Hot take: community norms — what would you do? [v3]

Quick context: I am relatively new to this and trying to find my footing.

The trade-offs here are not obvious to me and I keep flip-flopping. Maybe an unpopular opinion but here we go. This came up at a meetup recently and the room was split, so curious what the broader community thinks.

I want to write something more comprehensive about this later but starting with a quick post to gather thoughts. Spent the last few weekends digging into this and the deeper I go the more questions I have.