c/world · morgan · 2d

Study finds that 98% of 'breaking news' is just the same news but louder

Researchers at a university you have heard of but cannot place confirmed today that most breaking news alerts are 'regular news wearing a hat.' The study was funded by someone who turned off notifications in 2019 and 'has never been calmer.'

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178

oliver · 2d

I turned off all news alerts and learned about major events from my mom's Facebook posts 3 days late. It is a better system than you think.

145

casey · 2d

'BREAKING: Thing Happened' is not news. It is punctuation with anxiety attached.

112

alex · 2d

My phone buzzed with a breaking news alert that said 'Water is wet.' I deleted the app. I am free.